Special Underwear?

Hey ya'll, I thought I'd come back to the only board on the internet that counts that counts to get this long term problem of mine solved.

No matter what package of underwear I select at Wal-mart, I always have trouble fitting all my junk into the crotch area. Some of my junk is always hanging down one of the sides (and then the elastic band cuts off circulation and it often turns purple) and then if I for some reason have to kneel down I'll kneel right onto the head of my junk. Or it doesn't drape out the side but instead it's all wrapped up in the front so tight that the top part of my underwear doesn't even touch my waist.

Anyone have any suggestions?

"o i c wat u did thar"