Another Atari 2600 review

“Walker (An Atari 2600 game)�

The worst Atari 2600 game ever is not E.T. or Pac-man. Nor is it Custer's Revenge. No, the all-time worst Atari 2600 of all time would have to be “Walker�, which was known overseas as “Clown Downtown� and “Schussel, der Polizistenshreck� ("Shreck, Bowl Of The Policemen").

Things look bad from the get-go. We plug in the cartridge, start up our faithful 2600 system, and we're greeted by cars with tires that look like swiveling diagonal lines, running animals that are animated like they're jumping with every single step, and there's a main character at the bottom who looks less like a clown and more like a transvestite. Add to all this some very bad background music to boot. And we haven't even started the game yet.

You have been warned, but those foolish enough to continue on from here will not turn the Atari system off and forget they ever started up this game. No, instead they press the Game Reset or Fire Button to start the game, and that's when things go from bad to worse. Now the background music is twice as annoying, the character sounds like he's farting with every step he takes, and he moves about as fast as a lame snail. Not only that, but every time he jumps, we hear an idiotic, four-note melody that makes Shave And A Haircut sound like Beethoven's 9th Symphony. You'd swear this game was created with masochists in mind.

Okay, so you endure all this long enough to walk from one blank side of the “street� to the other. This supposed “street� we cross has no markings whatsoever, no street lights, no walk signs, no road markings, no sidewalk, and no curb. Now that we've crossed this street, we're faced with another blank street, only now it's got a policeman placed in the middle of it. And wouldn't you know it, it's gotta be the dumbest, most appalling image of a policeman I've ever seen in my life. I know he's drawn that way for humor, but just seeing him makes my eyes hurt.

(cont'd) ...

- Tricob.

"Glass Tiger for life! "