Atari 2600
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
| Graphics: Sound: Gameplay: Overall: |
5.12 5.06 4.70 4.79 |
| Votes: | 67 |
| Reviews: | 1 |
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| Reviewer: Gremlin | Date: Aug 20, 2025 |
| Did you like E.T. as a kid? Well you won't for long with this exciting waddle-into-a-hole simulator!
I know it's for one of the oldest gaming systems on Earth, but good lord even Asteroids has better replayability than this confusing thing. Graphics: 3 When you're waddling around there are only about three things that you can identify: E.T., random humans, and a singular house. Otherwise what you're looking at could be a tree, a rock, or it might be a hole you'll fall into. More on the holes later. Sound: 1 I have to play it on low volume because the opening title sounds like someone made a MIDI-player out of a house's security alarm system for YouTube content. Gameplay: 1 All you do the entire game is pick up unspecified clumps of pixels and fall down holes that you'll randomly end up in regardless of whether or not you walked over one. Hell, it gets downright spiteful toward the player sometimes by throwing you into a hole to keep you from simply going in a direction it doesn't want you to go... despite the item clump being inches away from you. This you are expected to do while random humans follow you around and try to capture you in the only way small-town bumpkins know: They pick you up and put you in a big cage in front of the only house in town. This cage you can also just walk out of. I'm sure that several-digit number at the bottom of the screen that counts down as you play has some importance, but you won't really want to find out if it means anything if it requires playing waddle-into-a-hole simulator. Overall: 2 Next time a current-gen game is mildly frustrating, simply take a minute to play this game. You won't really care how cheap Shao Khan is once you're being told "Yeah, I know you want to go up and there's nothing in the way, but I hate you. Into the hole, sinner!" Guaranteed you won't hate the game you were playing before this one. I had a friend named John. John regularly invited me to hang out at his family's trailer park and they had a few retro consoles including the Atari 2600 and an E.T. cartridge. It was the single worst time I ever had at John's place. One of his mutant cats clawed me in the eye that day and it was a far more enjoyable experience than this game will ever be. |
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